Season 5

The Mango The Puffy Shirt The Glasses The Sniffing Accountant The Bris
The Lip Reader The Non-Fat Yogurt The Barber The Masseuse The Cigar Store Indian
The Conversion The Stall The Dinner Party The Marine Biologist The Pie
The Stand-In The Wife The Raincoats, Parts 1 & 2 The Fire The Hamptons
The Opposite

#64 -- The Mango


Original Air Date: 9/16/93


As George confesses to lacking confidence about his performance in bed with new girlfriend Karen, Elaine arrives and surprises Jerry by admitting she faked her orgasms back when they were romantically involved. While George worries that Karen may be giving him a similar treatment and delicately questions her about their sex life, Jerry asks for another chance to satisfy Elaine. But, worried about the consequences, she refuses and jeopardizes the future of the their friendship. Meanwhile, returning a bad peach to Joe the greengrocer ends up getting Kramer banned from his store. After experiencing problems in bed with Karen, George blames Jerry and Elaine for his sudden loss of potency, while Kramer seeks help in buying fruit from Joe. Though reluctant to get involved, Jerry tries to do Kramer's bidding but is challenged by Joe and banned from the store, too. Then, to bolster his self confidence and prove himself to Elaine, Jerry calls some old girlfriends to ask whether they ever faked it with him. Enlisted by Kramer to do his shopping at Joe's, George returns with his fruit and then rushes off to see Karen after discovering that a slice of mango has cured his impotence. Then, as Elaine arrives with some of the things he left at her apartment, she finally concedes to having sex with Jerry in order to save their friendship. However, after George accuses Karen of faking an orgasm and is asked to leave, Jerry discovers he now has a performance problem of his own.

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#65 -- The Puffy Shirt


Original Air Date: 9/23/93


After helping George move in with his parents, Jerry joins Elaine for dinner with Kramer and Leslie, a fashion designer with the unnerving habit of talking so quietly no one can ever hear what she is saying. As Kramer lets his friends in on Leslie's latest creation, a puffy shirt like the ones worn by pirates, Elaine announces that Jerry will be appearing on "The Today Show" to promote a charity benefit. Meanwhile, during dinner with his parents, George inadvertently collides with a modelling agency owner who notices he has a pair of remarkable hands. Recounting the fortuitous accident, George reveals he has already been given his first assignment as a hand model, while Kramer notes how Jerry's offer to wear the puffy shirt on television has helped Leslie's flagging business. However, unaware that he ever agreed to anything of the sort, Jerry realizes he has been victimized by Leslie's low talking. But, when he balks upon seeing the shirt and Elaine warns that it will mock the benefit to help clothe the homeless, Jerry is persuaded by Kramer to make good on his promise because Leslie has so much at stake. Meanwhile, George's life takes a dramatic turn after being told he has the most exquisite pair of hands in the business. Upset by Bryant Gumbel's jokes about his clothes, Jerry loses his cool on the air and claims the puffy shirt is the stupidest thing he has ever seen. Upon hearing the remark, Leslie launches into a screaming tirade and accuses Jerry of ruining her career. Then, as George arrives with news of his good fortune and weighs in with his own negative views of the shirt, Leslie shoves him into a hot iron, forever ruining his future as a hand model. Finally, as Jerry, George and Elaine all complain about the damage caused by the puffy shirt, Kramer says the fiasco also destroyed Leslie's business.

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#66 -- The Glasses


Original Air Date: 9/30/93


After his glasses are stolen at the health club, George vows to find the thief as Kramer suggests he see a friend who recently helped Jerry with a good deal on an air conditioner. Promised a hefty discount on some glasses simply by mentioning Kramer's name, George persuades Jerry and Elaine to help him choose a new pair. However, when Elaine is bitten at the store by a passing dog, George chases the owner and his pet, only to quickly return claiming he saw Jerry's new girlfriend kissing his cousin Jeffrey on the sidewalk outside. So, as Jerry rushes Elaine to the hospital, George finds that Kramer's name does not produce a discount as he inadvertently buys a pair of ladies glasses. Though he tries tricking Amy into confessing, when she leaves after being put off by his questions, Jerry accuses George of ruining the relationship. Revealing she didn't get a rabies shot, Elaine accompanies Kramer to the store, where he demands that George be given a discount on the glasses while she tries in vain to learn the name of the dog's owner before undergoing a painful rabies treatment. Then, after Elaine spots the dog and its owner from Jerry's window, Kramer's door slamming accidentally sends the new air conditioner crashing down on the unsuspecting pet. After chasing a man he believes stole his glasses, George persuades a blind man to trade his pair for the ladies frames he bought. Then, arriving at Jeffrey's only to find his Uncle Leo instead, Jerry's plan to trap Amy is exposed, causing her to reconsider their relationship once again. Finally, with the aid of his new glasses George realizes he misidentified Jerry's girlfriend, while Amy is attracted by Jeffrey's air conditioner and Jerry ends up paying the injured dog's medical bills.

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#67 -- The Sniffing Accountant


Original Air Date: 10/07/93


When Elaine spots their accountant on the street and invites him up, Jerry worries that Barry's persistent sniffing might indicate a drug problem. While telling Kramer of his suspicions, Jerry then gives his neighbor an old sweater which he claims is too itchy for him to wear. Meanwhile, when his father arranges an interview for a job selling bras, George is forced to suffer through an argument with his parents about the undergarment. Upon learning that Barry is on a trip to South America, Jerry enlists Kramer and Newman in a plan to uncover the accountant's drug problem. So, after a stake Out of his office, Kramer joins Barry in a bar where he ends with a picture of a stunned accountant using the bathroom like everyone else. Meanwhile, after arguing with her new boyfriend over his reluctance to use exclamation points, Elaine ends up driving him away. Although a successful interview lands him the bra salesman's job, George quickly loses it after touching the owner's temperamental daughter. Then, after preparing a letter terminating Barry and sending Newman to mail it, Jerry and Kramer discover that the old sweater may have actually been the cause of the accountant's sinus problem. But, after Newman's loses the letter, thus failing to void their business relationship, Jerry discovers that Barry is bankrupt because of a drug problem and that he and his friends have lost all of their investment.

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#68 -- The Bris


Original Air Date: 10/14/93


Jerry, Elaine and George go to a hospital to witness a newly born child.Elaine and Jerry are asked to be godparents to the recently born child. They help arrange the Jewish ceremonies including circumcision. The rabbi they get to preform the operation is rude, and scary. He yells at Elaine for putting her glass near the edge of a table which hogs all the room. Jerry holds the baby so the circumcision can be done. George faints after he sees just how mad the circumcisor is. Jerry gets his finger cut and goes to the hospital. Kramer swears that he saw a half man half pig creature known as the pigman in the hospital. He goes to the room the pig man was in and finds nothing later. Kramer hears of genetic testing being done at the hospital and reasons that this proves the pigman is there. George thinks a race of mutant pig men is a good idea as it would make him appear more attractive to women as they could say "at least he isn't a pigman." Jerry replies that even with pigmen there would be some female perverts that find the tail cute. The episode ends with Kramer running around the hospital with what appears to be a pigman on his back. Throughout the episode Elaine and Jerry make pig expressions by pushing their nose back with their hand to help describe Kramer's pigman search.

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#69 -- The Lip Reader


Original Air Date: 10/28/93


As Jerry eyes a beautiful official at a U.S. Open tennis match, George goes to buy some more sunblock and, stopping for a quick hot fudge sundae, unknowingly becomes the butt of a television commentator's jokes. Approaching the lineswoman but unable to get her attention, Jerry soon discovers Laura is actually deaf as she agrees to a date. Meanwhile, in order to avoid having to talk with a car service driver, Elaine tries to pretend she is deaf. But, feeling bad after the driver catches her trying to fool him, she is persuaded by her friends to try and make it up to him with some free concert tickets. As Kramer announces that he wants to be the first ball-man at the U.S. Open tennis tournament, he tells Jerry and Elaine about seeing George on television. After he is unexpectedly dumped by his latest girlfriend, George then wonders if his appearance on television had anything to do with Gwen's decision. So, joining Jerry and Laura on their date, George persuades her to go to a mutual friend's party and lip read Gwen's conversations to find out what caused the break up. After calling the car service to take them to Todd's party, Elaine and her friends are forced to find other transportation when the angry driver complains that his hearing was damaged as a result of the concert tickets she gave him. So, arriving late to find Laura already there, George immediately puts her to work to uncover what Gwen is saying to their host. But, when Kramer's signing skills are challenged and Laura misreads what is being said, George wrongly accuses Gwen and Todd of planning to spend the night together. Finally, Kramer's accidental stumble injures a star player and puts an end to the ball-man experiment.

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#70 -- The Non-Fat Yogurt


Original Air Date: 11/04/93


While at Kramer's new and very popular frozen yogurt store, George runs into Lloyd Braun, a childhood friend and now high-powered advisor to New York City's mayor, David Dinkins. Embarrassed when Lloyd calls attention to a nudge he gives Jerry, George defends himself by claiming that an accident has caused his elbow to move involuntarily. So, when he drops by the Costanzas' with an invitation to see Mayor Dinkins' doctor about the problem, George's grateful mother insists that he accept before telling Lloyd how to contact Elaine. Meanwhile, realizing that they have been gaining weight, Elaine suggests testing the yogurt's fat content, while Kramer's business partners warn Jerry to stop using obscenities around their young son. Upon discovering that Kramer has made a date with the chemist charged with testing the yogurt, Jerry and Elaine worry about her objectivity. Then, as George complains that the doctor's appointment was made just to embarrass him, Elaine announces that she is going to be dating Lloyd. Although claiming that obscene language will prevent him from growing up to be a successful comedian, Jerry curses Matthew when he destroys a videotape of his latest monologue. Meanwhile, when Elaine suggests that he propose everyone wear nametags to make the city a friendlier place, the idea turns Mayor Dinkins into a laughingstock and costs Lloyd his job As Jerry learns that the yogurt does have fat in it after all, George is accused by the doctor of lying about his injury. Then, while at the lab with Cheryl, Kramer inadvertently contaminates a blood sample from mayoral candidate Rudolph Giuliani, raising questions about his health. So, worried that the frozen yogurt may be the cause, Jerry calls Giuliani's campaign headquarters with the lab results, prompting the candidate to promise he will cleanse the city of phony non-fat yogurt. Finally, Giuliani rides the frozen yogurt scandal to victory as Kramer's new business turns from an overnight success into an instant failure.

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#71 -- The Barber


Original Air Date: 11/11/93


Jerry gets a bad haircut but doesen't have the heart to tell his barber or get a new one. Jerry secretly gets a haircut by one of the barber's assitants in his apartment. He almost is found out by the barber at first but manages to hide the evidence. The barber suspects something and sends Newman over to try to retrieve a sample of Jerry's hair so he can know if his assitant is cutting Jerry's hair. Newman goes to Jerry's bathroom and can't find a single hair in Jerry's comb or sink. This reinforces the germophobe nature of Jerry which underlines many episodes. Newman then attempts to clip a piece of hair off Jerry directly. He sneaks behind him then crosses his arm mischivously when Jerry turns around. He finally reaches around the couch and gets a sample. The barber uses the hair sample to deduce Jerry is getting his hair cut by his assistant and goes to Jerry's apartment for a showdown. At first things appear to be going to get messy, but then Edward Scissorhands is seen on the TV and the barber and his assistant can't help but watch and be fascinated by the superhero with scissors. Jerry is supposed to attend a singles auction to raise money for charity but backs out. Elaine has to bring Kramer instead. She introduces Kramer as a tall high school graduate but quickly has to correct with equvalency program graduate. Kramer does his stroll and dance and trips into the audience. George gets a new job.

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#72 -- The Masseuse


Original Air Date: 11/18/93


After convincing Elaine to ask a new boyfriend to change his name, one he shares with a notorious serial killer, Jerry and a masseuse named Jodi double date with George and his on-again girlfriend Karen. But, over at dinner with his friends, George delights Karen but says something which upsets Jodi, all while Jerry tries to subtly call attention to his own need for a massage. Meanwhile, Kramer agrees to attend a New York Giants football game with Elaine and boyfriend Joel Rifkin. As Jerry steps up his efforts to get a massage, Karen tries to interest George in sex as he worries about whether Jodi likes him. Learning that she doesn't, George then sets out to win her over by carrying Jodi's massage table downstairs, while Kramer tells Jerry that she gave him the massage of a lifetime before heading for the game. But, after a problem at the ticket window results in the controversial name being announced to the entire stadium, Kramer returns from the game begging for another massage. Yet, Jerry steadfastly refuses to allow it and vows to be the next to experience Jodi's magic touch. As George's obsession about offending Jodi becomes more than she can bear, Karen decides to end their relationship once again, while convinced that a change of name would be the best thing to do, Joel finds it difficult finding one which pleases Elaine. When Jodi arrives at his apartment and he begins dropping some not-so-subtle hints about getting a massage, despite her willingness to have sex, she balks at giving Jerry what he really wants. Then, after Jodi insists she won't be forced into anything and storms off while, intrigued by the fact that she could hate him so much, George tries to stop her.

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#73 -- The Cigar Store Indian


Original Air Date: 12/09/93


When Jerry accidentally stains the Costanza's coffee table, George insists it be taken to be refinished before his parents return from their trip. So, taking the subway home with an old TV Guide to read, after Kramer is left behind while stopping to pick.up a quick snack, Elaine is forced to make the trip with Ricky, an annoying passenger with a passion for television. Meanwhile, as Jerry is buying Elaine a gift to make up for leaving her without a ride, George is impressing Sylvia, a woman who works at Gepetto's Furniture Store. But, upon arriving at Elaine's with a cigar store indian and hoping that his generosity will not go unnoticed by her friend, Jerry is told that Winona took offense at the gift because she is a Native American. Inviting Sylvia home, George conceals the fact that he is really living with his parents, while Jerry finds Winona to apologize and Kramer is given the indian by an embarrassed Elaine. But, when Frank notices that one of his TV Guide collection is missing and Estelle finds a condom wrapper in their bed, George is forced to admit having sex with Sylvia and is grounded by his parents, while Jerry promises that Elaine will return the missing magazine. Then, at a dinner with Winona where he takes special care in what he says, Jerry notices she has a copy and asks to have her TV Guide, while Kramer learns that Elaine failed to tell her boss about his idea for a coffee table book about coffee tables. Using the address on the magazine's mailing label, Ricky arrives at the Costanza's looking for Elaine. However, when Frank discovers he used his TV Guide to make a bouquet for her, he nearly loses control until learning Ricky has a similar obsession with television and the magazine. But, when Elaine arrives with the replacement issue and is berated by Frank for soiling it, Ricky jumps to her defense and accidentally chips the coffee table. Meanwhile, as Jerry learns that Winona needs her TV Guide back, Kramer gets an audience with Elaine's boss after selling him the cigar store indian. Finally, Elaine is assigned to Kramer's project, while Estelle takes the chipped table to Gepetto's and Sylvia learns the truth about George.

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#74 -- The Conversion


Original Air Date: 12/16/93


While on a date with Sasha, George learns that the differences in their religions have caused her parents to order her to stop seeing him. So, while George decides to convert to the Latvian Orthodox faith, after questioning the qualifications of Elaine's podiatrist, Jerry makes a date to see his new neighbor, Tawni. But, when a peek into her medicine cabinet uncovers a fungicide, he decides that, before going any further, he must know what it is for. So, as Jerry asks Elaine to ask her podiatrist identify the ointment, George meets with the Latvian Orthodox priests to discuss his conversion. While waiting for George at the church, Kramer meets a young novice who immediately fails in love with him. Meanwhile, persuaded to find out if the tube even belongs to Tawni, Jerry is forced to steal the fungicide in order to avoid being caught snooping, while Elaine insults her podiatrist when she suggests he is not really a doctor. Then, as Jerry catches George preparing to cheat on his conversion exam, Kramer announces that Sister Roberta has decided to leave the church because of the feelings he has stirred in her. So, after George passes the test with amazing results, Kramer meets with the Latvian priests who, claiming he has an animal-like power over women, give him the recipe for a potion which will rid him of the problem. Told that the fungicide is actually for Tawni's cat, Jerry offers to help find another tube. Meanwhile, despite his parents attempt to talk him out of it, George arrives at the church for his conversion, where Kramer discovers that his cure has worked as Roberta reaffirms her vow to become a nun. Then, after her podiatrist sees the fungicide inside her medicine cabinet, he reconsiders going to bed with Elaine. But, when Jerry and Tawni arrive at her apartment, the truth comes out when Elaine swears that the ointment is not hers. Finally, George discovers that, despite all his efforts, Sasha is going back to Latvia for a year.

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#75 -- The Stall


Original Air Date: 1/06/94


Finding herself in a theater ladies room without any toilet paper, Elaine is frustrated when a woman in the next stall refuses to loan her even one square. Unaware that the disembodied voice actually belongs to Jerry's date, Elaine complains bitterly to him about the incident the following day and, upon realizing who she is talking about, he foresees trouble ahead if they all go out for dinner as planned on Saturday night. Although denying that she is only interested in her new boyfriend because of his good looks, Elaine agrees with Jerry's assessment that George is infatuated with Tony, while Kramer uses Jerry's telephone to start up a relationship with a phone sex operator who calls herself Erica. Upon anxiously accepting Tony's invitation to go rock climbing, George is upset when Kramer is invited, too. Then, after defending his interest in Tony but denying that he is in love, George's distraction while climbing causes his new friend to take a nasty fall. So, when Elaine drops by unexpectedly, forcing Jerry to quickly fill Jane's mouth with gum to make her voice unintelligible and protect her identity, George and Kramer arrive with news of the accident. Hurrying to see Tony and worrying that his perfect face has been damaged, Elaine recoils in anticipatory horror from his kiss, as George drops by only to learn that the injured climber no longer likes him. Meanwhile, Kramer swears that Jane is the same woman he has been calling on the phone sex line. Certain that Tony is going to be deformed by the accident, Elaine meets Jerry at the coffee shop to discuss how to handle breaking up, while Kramer reveals that he has invited Erica there to clear up the mystery about her identity once and for all. But, when Jane claims no knowledge of Erica or the phone sex line and excuses herself to go to the bathroom, Elaine recognizes her voice and, hurrying ahead to steal the toilet paper, leaves her helplessly stranded. Finally, Jane storms off after demanding that neither Jerry nor Kramer ever call her again, and Elaine discovers that while Tony has healed perfectly, he is dumping her because of a small pimple on her face.

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#76 -- The Dinner Party


Original Air Date: 2/03/94


Denouncing the custom of bringing wine for their hosts, George dons a bulky new parka to protect him against the bitter cold and joins his friends in Kramer's car for the trip to a dinner party. However, when Elaine decides that they should also bring dessert, she and Jerry stop at bakery while, still bristling at the obligation, George joins Kramer at the liquor store to purchase a suitable wine. Having neglected to take a number and secure their place in line, Jerry and Elaine then try to convince another couple that they were there first. Yet, recognizing them as acquaintances on their way to the same party, Jerry and Elaine admit defeat in their argument, only to watch Barbara and David buy the last Chocolate Babka -- the same dessert they wanted to bring. Refusing to double park or to wear a jacket despite the frigid weather, Kramer reveals that he didn't bring a wallet, forcing George to buy the wine. But, needing to first change a hundred dollar bill, they go to a nearby newsstand where they have to buy a number of items before the clerk will accept it, only to return to find a double parked car blocking them in. Furious with the delay, George accosts a pair of innocent pedestrians about the car and nearly ends up in a fight before Kramer suggests waiting inside the liquor store for warmth. Meanwhile, after deciding on a Cinnamon Babka, Jerry also makes a stand for racial hannony by getting himself a black and white cookie. But, when Elaine discovers a hair on the Babka, Jerry recalls memories of a traumatic childhood incident and insist they take it back, forcing another wait in the bakery's long line. After finally exchanging the Babka, Elaine fumes as she and Jerry wait for their ride, unaware that George and Kramer are blocked in. Making matters worse, the cookie causes Jerry to suddenly become ill and rush to the bathroom, while Elaine's frozen toes are accidentally crushed by a blind man's cane. Told they cannot wait in the liquor store, George accidentally knocks over a floor display and, breaking a number of wine bottles, is forced to pay for the damage with the only thing of value he has left -- his new parka. So, without coats, George and Kramer are forced to wait outside for the missing driver, who turns out to look just like Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. After the frozen George and Kramer finally return to pick up a sick Jerry and the crippled Elaine, they end up snidely dropping off their gifts at the party before heading straight home.

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#77 -- The Marine Biologist


Original Air Date: 2/03/94


After reading their college alumni magazine's update on Jerry's career and pointing out that George isn't mentioned at all, Elaine is intercepted on her way to work by Kramer who gives her the electronic organizer he received as a gift from his bank. Then, after George reveals his love of whales and Kramer heads for the beach to hit golf balls into the surf, Jerry runs into Diane Dekanne, an old college friend who, having seen the magazine, inquires about George. Impressed with Jerry's claim that his friend is now a marine biologist who specializes in whales, Diane asks for George's phone number and calls him for a date. When the alarm on Elaine's new organizer irritates exiled Russian author Yuri Testikov, he throws it out the window of their limousine. So, after Kramer claims to be giving up golf after getting off only one really good shot all day, Jerry receives a call from a woman named Corinne who found his name in an electronic organizer that hit her in the head. Meeting to discuss the accident, Jerry vows to find the culprit and demand payment of Corinne's medical bills, while Elaine complains to Kramer that she already transferred her entire address book into the organizer and is now lost without it. After being accused by Jerry of carelessly throwing it out the window and hitting Corinne, Elaine retaliates and complains that some questionable information he gave her about Tolstoy embarrassed her in front of her new author. Told she cannot have the organizer back until Corinne's medical bills have been paid, Elaine hatches a plan to tape Testikov's confession, thereby protecting herself from any liability. However, while readily admitting his guilt, a noise from her hidden tape recorder disturbs the temperamental writer and, accusing Elaine and Jerry of spying on him, he throws it out the window hitting Corinne again. Meanwhile, when a whale is in danger of dying at the beach, George is forced into action and saves the giant mammal by removing a golf ball that was obstructing his blow hole. But, finally admitting that he is not really a marine biologist, George quickly loses Diane's respect and affection while, after visiting her in the hospital, Testikov falls in love with Corinne and takes her back to Russia.

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#78 -- The Pie


Original Air Date: 2/17/94


After his date Audrey adamantly refuses to taste a restaurant's famous apple pie, Jerry immediately becomes suspicious while, struggling with an incurable itch, Kramer claims he saw a mannequin that looks exactly like Elaine. Discovering it is true, Elaine tangles with a haughty saleslady who encourages George's infatuation with an expensive suit she says is about to go on sale. So, as Elaine searches for information about the mannequin's origin and Jerry pursues his obsession with Audrey's refusal of the pie, Kramer falls in love with a long-nailed restaurant cashier, while George tries to protect his newly beloved suit from being sold. After George tries putting a dumpy customer named Bob off the track by giving him the wrong date for the sale, Jerry presses Audrey about the pie and discovers that her father is the owner of Poppies, the trendy restaurant where they are eating. But, when he notices that he didn't wash his hands in the rest room before returning to the kitchen, Jerry refuses to taste Poppie's specially made pizza. Meanwhile, after George manages to successfully hide it, Bob concedes defeat in the battle for the suit, but swears he will get revenge. And, when a stranger says she is the woman in a window display being spanked while wearing lingerie, Elaine steals the look-alike mannequin. Worried about a swooshing sound it makes when he walks, George confesses to a prospective employer during an interview that he is wearing a noisy suit, while Poppie's questioning of Jerry about the pizza is interrupted when health inspectors arrive to investigate complaints about his cleanliness. Meanwhile, George pledges allegiance to conformity as he joins Fleming and his employees for lunch. However, upon finding that Bob is the cook, his refusal to share in a piece of communal pie costs George the job but saves him from getting sick. Finally, after losing his itch, Kramer dumps the cashier by claiming that the mannequin in Jerry's car is his new girlfriend. Meanwhile Elaine learns that the dummies are showing up all over the country -- unaware they are being made by Ricky, a obsessed man who she met during a recent subway ride.

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#79 -- The Stand-In


Original Air Date: 2/24/94


As George is complaining about his new girlfriend Daphne, he and Jerry learn that their friend Fulton is in the hospital. Though uncomfortable with being asked to cheer him up, Jerry agrees to go see Fulton while George opts to just send his greetings. Meanwhile, along with his midget actor friend Mickey, Kramer is hired as a stand-in on a popular soap opera. But, after Mickey complains the child performer he is standing in for is growing too fast, Kramer persuades him to wear lifts in his shoes. Then, arriving at the hospital, Jerry cannot persuade Fulton to crack a smile, and even fails with a hilarious, sure-fire story about their friend Pachyderm. Although his short colleagues notice something different, Mickey denies having done anything as a rival actor pledges to expose the truth. Then, after his friend Al Neschy warns Daphne that he is incapable of making a commitment, a stunned George fights to keep their relationship intact, even though he is already growing tired of it. So, as Jerry admits to his tough time with Fulton and suggests that Elaine consider dating their friend Phil, George decides to continue seeing Daphne if only to prove Al wrong. Meanwhile, worried that his colleagues will know he is wearing lifts, Mickey chastises Kramer for convincing him to try them in the first place. Complaining that his rival Johnny is out to get him, Mickey explains the unwritten code that forbids small actors from doing anything to make themselves taller. Then, on their first date, Elaine sees Phil exposing himself, while Jerry begs Fulton's wife Adrian for another chance to make her sick husband laugh. After redoubling his effort to prove Al wrong, on their next date George discovers that Daphne has fallen for someone new -- their friend Pachyderm! Finally, with Phil confused over why Elaine won't have anything to do with him, and Mickey is ostracized by the other small stand-ins, Jerry succeeds at making Fulton laugh hysterically, only to be shocked when he suddenly stops dead.

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#80 -- The Wife


Original Air Date: 3/17/94


After Jerry returns a lost locket that once belonged to the dry cleaner's late wife, Marty rewards him with a lifetime discount on all his cleaning. However, overhearing the offer, Jerry's new girlfriend Meryl claims they are married in order to be included, too. So, as they enjoy the idea of being married, Kramer asks if they will take his quilt in to be cleaned. Meanwhile, a kiss at her health club suggests to Elaine that Greg is interested in a romantic relationship, while George admits to urinating in the club's shower. While Jerry is forced to tell his Uncle Leo that he is married, Greg's wiping off the mouth of her water bottle before accepting a drink causes Elaine to reconsider his intentions as she learns that he saw George peeing in the shower. Then, as the pretend marriage takes its toll on his relationship with Meryl, Jerry tells his parents the truth, while Kramer claims he cannot sleep without his quilt. Worried that his health club membership will be revoked, George asks Elaine to see that Greg doesn't file a complaint. Meanwhile, having gone days without sleep, Kramer remembers he is supposed to meet his girlfriend Anna's family and visits a tanning salon to restore his healthy glow. His relationship with Meryl on the rocks, Jerry meets an attractive woman who can't afford to have her cleaning done and offers her his discount. Then, after Greg lets her use a piece of gym equipment without his wiping it off, Elaine takes it as a sign of intimacy, while George seizes upon the rules violation as just the thing to save him from being expelled. So, realizing that Greg is actually interested in the club manager, Elaine saves George's membership by threatening to report him. Then, when she goes to pick up her cleaning and is given Paula's, too, Meryl confronts Jerry, who demands that they get a divorce. Finally, after falling asleep in the tanning booth, Kramer's accidentally darkened complexion only upsets Anna's African-American family.

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#81 and #82 -- The Raincoats, Parts 1 & 2


Original Air Date: 4/28/94


When Jerry's parents come to stay en route to France, George extends them an invitation to join his mom and dad for dinner. Then, to avoid having to be a Big Brother, George claims he is going to France and then asks the Seinfelds to send postcards to make it seem as though he is really there. Meanwhile, after Kramer encourages George to sell his father's old clothes to a thrift store, the Seinfelds falsely claim they already have dinner plans, not wanting to admit that they just don't like the Costanzas. Then, after Elaine's new boyfriend takes the Seinfelds for a behind the scenes museum tour, Kramer drops by wearing a raincoat created by Jerry's dad. Told they are now valuable, Morty says he still has boxes of the coats in his garage and Kramer offers to sell them in exchange for a cut of the profits. Agreeing to join Kramer for dinner, Morty asks his neighbor Jack to send the raincoats to New York while, unaware of how the Seinfelds really feel, Estelle and Frank extend their invitation for the following night. Then, George's lie compounds his problem when he is asked to take Joey to Pans to find his father while, at Rudy's thrift store making a sale, he discovers that Kramer had dinner with Morty and Helen. Confronting Jerry about his parent's lie, George then asks if they would be willing to take Joey along with them to Paris, while Elaine finds that Aaron has invited Morty and Helen to join them for a romantic evening on the town. Seeing the four of them sharing a hansom cab and drinking champagne, George realizes that his parents have been snubbed again, while Jack calls to say he couldn't get the garage open, delaying the arrival of the coats by another day. Meanwhile, the Costanzas decide to take a cruise, only to have Frank discover that all of his cabana wear is missing. Though realizing his mistake, George is unaware that Rudy has burned them, while Newman is disgusted when he sees Jerry and his girlfriend Rachel making out during Schindler's List. Arriving at the thrift store where he tries to get the clothes back, George complains about the Seinfelds and prompts Kramer to conclude that his deal with Morty isn't lucrative enough. But, after Morty decides that it is Kramer who is actually getting too much, they finally negotiate a price just like their original deal. Deciding to cause Jerry trouble, Newman tells the Seinfelds about his behavior during the movie while, getting more bad news about the raincoats, Morty calls off the trip to France so he can complete his deal with Kramer. Then, when Kramer arrives wearing a shirt he bought from Rudy and Frank accuses him being a thief, George is forced to tell his thd the truth.

When Jerry's parents come to stay en route to France, George extends them an invitation to join his mom and dad for dinner. Then, to avoid having to be a Big Brother, George claims he is going to France and then asks the Seinfelds to send postcards to make it seem as though he is really there. Meanwhile, after Kramer encourages George to sell his father's old clothes to a thrift store, the Seinfelds falsely claim they already have dinner plans, not wanting to admit that they just don't like the Costanzas. Then, after Elaine's new boyfriend takes the Seinfelds for a behind the scenes museum tour, Kramer drops by wearing a raincoat created by Jerry's dad. Told they are now valuable, Morty says he still has boxes of the coats in his garage and Kramer offers to sell them in exchange for a cut of the profits. Agreeing to join Kramer for dinner, Morty asks his neighbor Jack to send the raincoats to New York while, unaware of how the Seinfelds really feel, Estelle and Frank extend their invitation for the following night. Then, George's lie compounds his problem when he is asked to take Joey to Pans to find his father while, at Rudy's thrift store making a sale, he discovers that Kramer had dinner with Morty and Helen. Confronting Jerry about his parent's lie, George then asks if they would be willing to take Joey along with them to Paris, while Elaine finds that Aaron has invited Morty and Helen to join them for a romantic evening on the town. Seeing the four of them sharing a hansom cab and drinking champagne, George realizes that his parents have been snubbed again, while Jack calls to say he couldn't get the garage open, delaying the arrival of the coats by another day. Meanwhile, the Costanzas decide to take a cruise, only to have Frank discover that all of his cabana wear is missing. Though realizing his mistake, George is unaware that Rudy has burned them, while Newman is disgusted when he sees Jerry and his girlfriend Rachel making out during Schindler's List. Arriving at the thrift store where he tries to get the clothes back, George complains about the Seinfelds and prompts Kramer to conclude that his deal with Morty isn't lucrative enough. But, after Morty decides that it is Kramer who is actually getting too much, they finally negotiate a price just like their original deal. Deciding to cause Jerry trouble, Newman tells the Seinfelds about his behavior during the movie while, getting more bad news about the raincoats, Morty calls off the trip to France so he can complete his deal with Kramer. Then, when Kramer arrives wearing a shirt he bought from Rudy and Frank accuses him being a thief, George is forced to tell his thd the truth.

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#83 -- The Fire


Original Air Date: 05/05/94


With Kramer hard at work on his book about coffee tables, Elaine disapproves of her co-worker Toby's exuberance about the project. While George courts Robin, a single mother and waitress at the comedy club whose young son is about to celebrate his seventh birthday, Kramer brings Toby for her first comedy show where her heckling during his act rattles Jerry's composure. Then, after a senior editor leaves for another job, Toby insists that Elaine is the likely choice for the promotion. While at Ben's birthday party, George panics over the smoke of a couple of greasy hamburgers and tramples over Robin, her mother, and the children in his rush to escape. After being attacked by a group of angry kids spurred on by Robin's mother's accusation that he is a coward, George struggles to explain why he bolted from the apartment, portraying himself as a hero who tried to lead the children to safety. Meanwhile, upset with a poor review he received because of Toby's heckling, Jerry decides to give her a taste of her own medicine. Yet when his heckling causes her to run from her desk in a panic, Toby loses a toe to a passing street sweeper, forcing Kramer on a mission of mercy to get the missing digit to the hospital. Criticizing Jerry for his heckling, Kramer recounts his heroic trip to the hospital, complete with battling a gunman on a city bus. Then, as George reflects on his own cowardice in the light of Kramer's heroism, Toby is welcomed at work by a crowd of well-wishers and is given the senior editor's job over Elaine. While Elaine complains that his vengeful act set off a chain of events which cost her the promotion, Jerry notes that the reviewer has agreed to come to see his act again. But, when George arrives to ask Robin for another chance and then panics at the sight of a comic's prop gun, he creates chaos in the club and ruins Jerry's act.

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#84 -- The Hamptons


Original Air Date: 5/12/94


As Jerry, Elaine and Kramer head for a weekend at Michael and Carol's beach house in the Hamptons, George makes the trip with his latest girlfriend, Jane. Yet, when George sets off to buy some tomatoes for his mother, Jerry, Kramer and Elaine are more than a little surprised when Jane decides to go topless. Meanwhile, though she and Jerry are shocked by their host's ugly baby, upon meeting the baby's pediatrician Elaine is quite taken, particularly after the doctor refers to her as breathtaking. However, her excitement is short-lived after he calls the ugly baby breathtaking, too. Then, arriving by train, Jerry's girlfriend Rachel gives George a perfunctory greeting as she quickly heads off to change, as a beachcombing Kramer returns with a full lobster trap and casually mentions that he saw Jane topless. Shocked by the news, George insists that to even the score, he should see Rachel naked, too. Although George barges into her room but fails to catch her, he is surprised when Rachel accidentally sees him undressing after a cold, genital-shrinking swim. So, worried about what Rachel must think, and even more about what she might tell Jane, George turns to Jerry for help. Although Jerry says that everyone is aware of the shrinkage factor, Elaine claims ignorance of the phenomenon and George's worries are magnified. Meanwhile, as Kramer learns that Rachel is kosher and cannot eat shellfish, George's delicate attempt to defend his shrinkage only prompts Rachel to tell Jane. Then, after learning that Kramer found the lobsters in a commercial trap, Michael recalls how his own lobster fisherman father toiled to put him through law school. As Elaine gets nowhere with Ben, Rachel sneaks into the kitchen for some late night lobster and finds Kramer guarding the refrigerator, determined that she maintain her piety. Then, unable to keep Jane from leaving in the middle of the night and determined to get revenge, George prepares a breakfast the following morning and slips lobster into the scrambled eggs he serves to Rachel. Turned in by Michael, Kramer is arrested for lobster poaching, while George walks in on Rachel again and she decides to return to New York with Michael and Carol. So, with Kramer left behind to work off his fine, George heads back with Jerry and Elaine, only to have a brief stop for more tomatoes end with a punch in the mouth from Rachel.

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#85 -- The Opposite


Original Air Date: 5/19/94


As Jerry, Elaine and Kramer head for a weekend at Michael and Carol's beach house in the Hamptons, George makes the trip with his latest girlfriend, Jane. Yet, when George sets off to buy some tomatoes for his mother, Jerry, Kramer and Elaine are more than a little surprised when Jane decides to go topless. Meanwhile, though she and Jerry are shocked by their host's ugly baby, upon meeting the baby's pediatrician Elaine is quite taken, particularly after the doctor refers to her as breathtaking. However, her excitement is short-lived after he calls the ugly baby breathtaking, too. Then, arriving by train, Jerry's girlfriend Rachel gives George a perfunctory greeting as she quickly heads off to change, as a beachcombing Kramer returns with a full lobster trap and casually mentions that he saw Jane topless. Shocked by the news, George insists that to even the score, he should see Rachel naked, too. Although George barges into her room but fails to catch her, he is surprised when Rachel accidentally sees him undressing after a cold, genital-shrinking swim. So, worried about what Rachel must think, and even more about what she might tell Jane, George turns to Jerry for help. Although Jerry says that everyone is aware of the shrinkage factor, Elaine claims ignorance of the phenomenon and George's worries are magnified. Meanwhile, as Kramer learns that Rachel is kosher and cannot eat shellfish, George's delicate attempt to defend his shrinkage only prompts Rachel to tell Jane. Then, after learning that Kramer found the lobsters in a commercial trap, Michael recalls how his own lobster fisherman father toiled to put him through law school. As Elaine gets nowhere with Ben, Rachel sneaks into the kitchen for some late night lobster and finds Kramer guarding the refrigerator, determined that she maintain her piety. Then, unable to keep Jane from leaving in the middle of the night and determined to get revenge, George prepares a breakfast the following morning and slips lobster into the scrambled eggs he serves to Rachel. Turned in by Michael, Kramer is arrested for lobster poaching, while George walks in on Rachel again and she decides to return to New York with Michael and Carol. So, with Kramer left behind to work off his fine, George heads back with Jerry and Elaine, only to have a brief stop for more tomatoes end with a punch in the mouth from Rachel.

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